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Monday, June 14, 2010

Chris Hoyte


If I could be anyone else in the world, I would be… anyone with a plan for their own future. I want to be someone that knows where they’re going to be in the next 10, 20 years, and have a step-by-step plan on how they’re going to achieve each step. I don’t know what exactly I want to be, but I would like to find out, preferably before I'm lying on my deathbed.

My most frequent emotion. Loneliness. I want to believe that that I can solve that by finding that “someone”, but the more I find is that the special someone is just a person that people make up and never find. I hope that maybe, I’ll find a compromise somewhere that doesn’t completely challenge all my views of companionship.

By far: the easiest thing about being a teenager is still being able to decide who you’re going to be, and not being under pressure to make the final choice that changes your whole life yet. There’s still people to meet, places to go, expectations to make, break, and shatter, you know? I just wish I knew the people that are going to help me make my future, and be a part of it.

The toughest thing, I think is dealing with all the emotions that overcome the mind because of uncertainty. School, friends, family, future. They’re all uncertain. You want to be able to understand what they all mean, who will look out for you with the most genuinely, what will hurt you the most in life.

My earliest memory? It’s from me going to my babysitter around the age of what, 5?, and getting my first kiss. The girl that kissed me always kept on singing, and managed to get me singing with her. I remember kissing her under the big tree in Ms. Williams (the babysitter) yard. The tree got cut down later. Ever since I've wondered who that person is and who she is now.

I want to be able to somehow, give people the tools to find and realize their potential, and be able to find contentment in whatever they love. But the hardest part of it is that people don’t know what they want; they sometimes label their best potential as the worst possibility. I don’t even know if I do this myself.

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